Follow my journey from being overweight and addicted to ice cream, to running marathon's!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

A.T. Hike

I had a great time hiking the Appalachian Trail. We hiked about 15 miles over 3 days- 10 of those miles were on Sunday. And about 8 of those miles were up a HUGE mountain!
 It was crazy difficult, but I had no choice but to keep on going. About 1 mile into it, I started not being able to breathe very well. That kind of scared me and I got overwhelmed with emotion, wondering what was wrong with me, how in the world am I supposed to keep climbing, etc. I don't know why I started crying, I guess everything just hit me at once. So we stopped, and Deeje (my sweet brother) realized my backpack was too loose and the strap across my chest was constricting my breathing. He fixed it, and after that I had no more trouble breathing! It was still a hard climb, but we would stop and take water breaks often.
 Reaching the top was awesome! At times I really wondered if I could make it, but I knew I had to, so I did!
At one of the shelters along the way, someone had written "adversity introduces a man to himself".
  And now I know what that means! I loved pushing myself beyond what I thought I could do, and then discovering who I really am!

Finally at the top of the mountain!

We had a great time, and I can't wait to go back again!


Thursday, May 24, 2012

Going for a hike!

On Saturday I get to hike the Appalachian Trail for a few days! My brother is thru hiking the whole thing (2300 miles!), so J, Sydney and I are going to join him for a few days! He's been gone since the beginning of April, so Sydney is very excited about seeing her man again, and I'm excited about seeing my brother! 
 We'll probably be hiking 8-10 miles a day, then camping out in our tent at night. I'm so looking forward to it! 
  J and I went to Cumberland Falls a couple months ago, and went on a 2 mile hike. I totally felt like I was going to die! Which kind of surprised me, since I run so much, I thought I was in a little better shape than that! But this will be much more than a 2 mile hike, and I'll be carrying a heavy backpack too!
 But I LOVE a challenge! I love pushing my body beyond what I thought it was capable of. I have to remember that whatever I think I can do- I can do way more! Where I think my limit is- it's just a choice, give up or push on! And the more I push, I'll begin to realize that my potential is truly limitless!
 Pics to come!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

New PR!

That's right! Yesterday I ran Throo the Zoo, my time was 34 minutes! My best time ever! I was SO excited!
This half marathon training is really paying off! That race is one of my favorites. It's just so neat to run by all the beautiful animals, hear their sounds, and smell their smells...some of which weren't so pleasant!
 I came in 808 out of 2,044. At least I was in the top half!

I just looked at the pictures from the race. I found mine. Now I'm depressed again. I just can't believe I'm a fat runner. I look at all these beautiful, thin girls running, and I trick myself into believing I look like them. I'm as fast or faster than some of them, so I must look like them, right?
Wrong.I'm fat. Plain and simple.
I'm embarrassed to even tell people I run, because I know they look at me, and think "yea, right!"
One lady, after hearing that I run, even told me that she knew a girl once who was a runner and she was overweight. She said "you'd think someone who ran a lot would be thin, but this girl wasn't." 
 Thanks a lot! That made me feel a lot better!!
And just to embarrass myself even further, here's a picture.

I know all the right answers though, I should be happy with who I am, at least I'm healthy, being skinny isn't everything, blah blah blah.
But to a fat person, being skinny is everything. I would give anything to be thin.

I'm not giving up. I will get there. I will lose 50 lbs.
I will look back on this horrid picture, and know that I will never look this way again!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

My first week of half marathon training last week went great! I think it was 10 miles for the week. This week will be 11.5.
 On Saturday my baby sister (well, she's 18) was in a very bad car accident. She was ejected from the vehicle and thrown. But she's alive! Even the doctor's said it was a miracle. She had no broken bones or internal injuries. Just lots of scrapes and cuts and bruises, and a few stitches. I KNOW God was with her and kept her alive. I'm SO thankful!
 So needless to say, that was the worst weekend of my life. I did go for a 3 mile run Saturday night though. It felt so good to run hard in the cool breeze, as my tears flowed. All I could say was "thank you, thank you, thank you...."


Thursday, May 3, 2012

I may or may not have had some icecream today.....But hey, it's been 2 weeks, that is quite an improvement!!
Tonight is my 3 mile run! Running again with Sydney at the park. Today is supposed to be close to 90 degrees, so we're gonna get HOT!
 I read this quote today on Nicole's blog , and it is SO good, I had to repost it. (BTW,I can't wait to look like her either!)
"Never count yourself out and don’t be afraid to shout your goals and dreams from the rooftops…no matter how big they seem or out of reach at the time.  BELIEVE in yourself or you will never get to where you want to go."
 That really encouraged me. Sometimes when I think about running 13 miles in a few months, I think I must be crazy! But you have to just believe in yourself and KNOW you will get there, and that you can do it!!


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

 I just signed up for my first half marathon! I am sooo excited!
Yesterday I started my training, by running 2 miles in the rain with Sydney! It was a blast! Today I will run 2.5 miles. I know I can do more than that, but I want to follow the plan.
  Now to get this crazy fat off! My weight has always befuddled me! I run around 10 miles a week, my calories per day are usually 1000-1200. Occasionally maybe 1500 (when I would have some icecream).
 But I cannot lose weight! It seems like I would be skinny by now! I am going to talk to a nutritionist, just to see if there is something I'm doing wrong, or can do differently.
 I am determined NOT to be fat when I run this thing.

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