Sunday, May 13, 2012

New PR!

That's right! Yesterday I ran Throo the Zoo, my time was 34 minutes! My best time ever! I was SO excited!
This half marathon training is really paying off! That race is one of my favorites. It's just so neat to run by all the beautiful animals, hear their sounds, and smell their smells...some of which weren't so pleasant!
 I came in 808 out of 2,044. At least I was in the top half!

I just looked at the pictures from the race. I found mine. Now I'm depressed again. I just can't believe I'm a fat runner. I look at all these beautiful, thin girls running, and I trick myself into believing I look like them. I'm as fast or faster than some of them, so I must look like them, right?
Wrong.I'm fat. Plain and simple.
I'm embarrassed to even tell people I run, because I know they look at me, and think "yea, right!"
One lady, after hearing that I run, even told me that she knew a girl once who was a runner and she was overweight. She said "you'd think someone who ran a lot would be thin, but this girl wasn't." 
 Thanks a lot! That made me feel a lot better!!
And just to embarrass myself even further, here's a picture.


I know all the right answers though, I should be happy with who I am, at least I'm healthy, being skinny isn't everything, blah blah blah.
But to a fat person, being skinny is everything. I would give anything to be thin.

I'm not giving up. I will get there. I will lose 50 lbs.
By Sep 22, I WILL BE THERE!
I will look back on this horrid picture, and know that I will never look this way again!

8 comments:

  1. YOU ARE NOT FAT!!! STOP IT!!! Seriously.

    I cannot telol you how my body image has changed since I started running. I have gone from basing my body image on how I look to what my body can do! I still look the same, but I am PROUD of every single inch of my body...even the cottage cheesy parts.

    You are beautiful. And you rocked it today. Be proud!!

    Congrats :)

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  2. Jen, you're so sweet! Ok, everytime I'm having one of these days, I'm going to read your comment again.
    Thank you!!
    That is a really good way to look at it, be proud for what it can do. But as for the cottage cheesy parts... I don't know if I can ever be proud of that! Haha!!

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