Follow my journey from being overweight and addicted to ice cream, to running marathon's!

Monday, April 15, 2013

I've finally found where I belong...

This weekend I got to do something I've never done before...volunteer at a race!
It was so much fun! I loved being on this side of a race, it was so strange not to be out there running with everyone though. Then I came home and ran 10 miles, my last long run.

 I can already tell this is going to be a very emotional week for me! Just thinking about my marathon in 5 days makes me want to cry! A good cry, not a bad cry!
  As I was standing out there watching the runners, directing them which way to go, encouraging them, it just struck me that I have finally, at 35 years old, found where I truly belong.

 I'm originally from Indiana, and my family moved to KY when I was 14. It was very, very tough. I left all my friends, my church, everything I had ever known, to start all over in a brand new place. 
 So I had to make new friends, get used to a new school and start all over.
 I know my parents did what was best for our family, and I am SO glad now to be in KY. But my teenage years were hard. I did a lot of stupid things, including marrying the wrong man when I was 20 and going through a divorce. I will always feel bad for the hell I put my parents through. But, I know that's all in the past and they've forgiven me!
 I say all that to say in my 20's and now even 30's, I've felt like I don't know where I belong, where I fit in, what my passion or purpose is. I always thought I would be like my friends, get married and have kids, and have the typical life. When I realized that I was never going to have children, that dream was crushed. I thought my purpose was to be a mommy, but when I realized it wasn't, I felt so lost. I still struggle with the fact that I'll never know that pure joy and love of having a baby. When I'm older, I won't have a daughter to be friends with, or a son who just adores his momma, I won't have my own granchildren. 
 I don't say all that for pity though, because God has brought me to a place now where I am completely happy. Yes, I'll always have that 'baby' hole in my heart, but He has blessed me with an amazing husband and 2 stepsons who I feel like are my own.
 So, over the years I've been searching for what my purpose is. Why was I created? Was I meant to just exist, and that's it? I couldn't settle for that. There has to be more, there has to be a reason.

  And yesterday as I was watching the runners I realized I had finally found my purpose and my passion. Running is my passion, and my purpose is to inspire and help others, and show them they can do this too. So many people have told me that I've inspired them to start running or exercising. I love hearing that!! My dream is to someday be a fitness coach or spin instructor- or anything to do with fitness! 

I finally feel like I really fit in somewhere, this running community knows me, understands me, and loves me. I'm no longer searching, I'm now complete.  

Sorry this has been so long and personal. I just wanted you all to know a little more about Katie. :)

I've already warned my honey that I just might be a basket case this week!! I might cry a little more than usual, I might be a little distracted, I might talk incessantly about Saturday, and who knows what else I may do!!
 I love you guys and am so thankful for each one of you!

Now, I'm going to grab some more kleenex and that ice cream is calling my name... ;)



katie
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18 comments

  1. I'm glad you opened up and posted this. It helps me know you a little more personally! We all have some struggles that we've gone through in life, but it makes us who we are. I have to say that running has brought me some of the best friends and community! I wonder where I'd be without it all the time. Don't let the taper crazies take over into an ice cream pint! You are SO close! :)

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    1. I too wonder where I'd be without this community! I'm trying to hold off on the ice cream until after marathon!

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  2. Oh Katie, what a heartfelt and sincere post! I'm so glad you've found a place where you can thrive and really put your gifts and talents to work. Good luck this weekend and enjoy this week leading up to your marathon!

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  3. This brought tears to my eyes. In all of your recent photos, you are just glowing! :) You seem truly happy with where God has brought you in your life! I know that God has special plans for you! You do inspire me! I very much look forward to meeting/running with you someday! We have so much in common! And I think that an ice cream treat after your marathon is TOTALLY appropriate! :) I know that after my first marathon in September, I'm going to eat an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk! All by myself! :) I cry thinking about running my marathon and I've got a few months left to train! I totally understand you being an emotional wreck this week! It's okay to cry! You should be proud of yourself! I know I am proud of you! I will be cheering you on this weekend! <3

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    1. Thank you, Carie! It is so nice to feel like I'm finally where God wants me! I cannot WAIT to run together!! Hopefully it's soon. A Ben & Jerry's will be exactly what I want/need! You are such a sweet friend and I'm so thankful for you. :)

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  4. So happy for you!!!! Where is it you are racing this weekned?

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    1. Thanks, Kelly Jo! It's in Carmel, Indiana.

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  5. Katie, I just heard about the explosions at the Boston Marathon and checked here to see which marathon you are running.... I am glad it is not Boston. I hope you will still be able to run, that this will not take away what you have been preparing for.

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    1. Thank you for thinking of me, Mary. I will definitely still be running. This made me a little more nervous, but I will not let fear control me or stop me from doing what I love!

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  6. Such a sweet post! So looking forward to hearing about your marathon!!!!

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  7. Hugs to you, Katie! I loved learning a little bit more about you through this post- you are truly a beautiful woman inside and out!!
    I am an emotional wreck getting ready for my marathon! I am soooo nervous! Let's crush this together!!!

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    1. Thank you so much, Elizabeth. We can and we WILL do this!!

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  8. FOUR MORE DAYS!! It's totally cool if you're emotional this week. You've earned it. :-) So happy that's running and fitness has helped you to find who you are and your purpose/passion. You're amazing!

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    1. Thank you so much, Clarinda. Thank you for giving me permission to be a mess this week- now even more so after everything that's happened. :( xoxo

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