Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Apology

I just want to apologize to anyone whom I may have offended by my last blog post. 
The truth is, I do still struggle with my body image. Compared to how I talked about myself this time last year, I'm a completely different person. I have come a LONG way in accepting myself. Apparently I shouldn't call myself 'fat', that's why I used the word 'chunky'. I no longer consider myself fat, but I do still consider myself overweight. 

 I understand that I'm an inspiration to a lot of people and people look up to me. I DO NOT take that lightly. So, if I let anyone down, I'm sorry.

 This blog is to share my victories AND my struggles. I'm not going to pretend losing weight is easy, I'm not going to pretend every day is just la dee dah, and skipping through the daisies. I'm not going to pretend I have it all together. Losing weight and keeping it off is the hardest thing I've ever done and has been my biggest struggle for the past 20 years. What kind of message would I be sending if I pretend it's easy? That would really discourage the person who is having a hard time themselves! No, I choose to be real.

 I am working on loving myself. I realize I don't always do a good job of that. But I see that, and I am making a conscious decision to change. I DO know how important that is. I can't love others, unless I love myself.

I may no longer be inspiring because you have seen my struggles, but just know that I will never give up. I will never stop running, I will never stop learning, I will never quit. I won't throw in the towel when it gets too hard. When I see no changes on the scale, when I look at pictures that show no progress, when I miss the goal I've worked so hard for by 28 seconds- I won't quit. I will keep going. I will make it. 
 And somewhere along this journey, I will learn what it truly means to love myself too.

I love you guys!!


katie

43 comments:

  1. I love following you because you are real, honest and awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Don't apologise for expressing your feelings.

    I hope you feel good about yourself. :-)
    You don't owe it to anyone but you :-)

    You are a lovely human being :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your blog and Facebook page have been very inspirational to me! I adore you because you are so real! I think you are absolutely awesome. You have motivated me beyond belief. I plan on running my first half in Nov!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Fran. I'm so glad to hear that! I'm so excited that you'll be running your first half. I'm telling you, they're addicting!! :)

      Delete
  4. I love your realness. Hearing that you struggle too encourages and inspires me! Keep doing what your doing girl!

    ReplyDelete
  5. My Kathryn, you are and always have been SO beautiful!! Thanks for being honest. One of my biggest struggles over the past few years has been changing my mindset about what beauty is. I refuse to look at pictures of people with different body types than myself and think that THEY are somehow more beautiful than I am. They are DIFFERENT, and that is all. God is a creative, artistic creator, and He intended for us all to be unique! I know how hard the struggle is to see yourself as beautiful, especially when we've been putting ourselves down our entire lives! But God is good, and if you ask Him to show you how HE sees you...you will begin to look in the mirror and appreciate the beautiful, unique, creative body He personally designed for you :)

    And I am saying all this at eight and a half months pregnant, with stretch marks, wide hips, swollen feet, a puffy face, and 50 lbs to lose! Yes, I've had to let God show me that all of that is beautiful, too :) I love you SO much!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful Char, I've always admired the way you can see yourself and others the way God made us. That has always been such an encouragement to me! Since I feel like I've been overweight for 20 years- that's a LOT of years of negative self talk. I do want to see myself the way God sees me, I know He'll show me. You are so gorgeous and I can't wait to love on that precious baby!! I love you!

      Delete
  6. You shouldn't have to apologize. This is you being you. That being said, you are gorgeous and I hope you find peace within yourself! You deserve it! Keep working hard and we'll get to sub 30 soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Cecilia! Yes, we will totally get there, and I can't wait!!

      Delete
  7. You are real! You do not need to apologize! I love you, lady! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Everyone has their moments. I get so sick of reading blogs that are always upbeat and everything is perfect and wonderful. That's not real life. It's your blog and a place to express what you are feeling. It's good to see someone with the same struggles. Weight loss sucks. But we readers are still going to tell you when you are crazy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jules! And I do appreciate being told I'm crazy when I need it! ;)

      Delete
  9. We love you Katie!! You are awesome my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  10. if you can't be honest on you're own blog, where can you be! No apologies needed - I follow your fb page a little and wanted to see what this post is all about so I'm checking in. I agree with everyone in yesterday's comments and I probably don't eat enuf either so we are in the same boat. I lost 70 lbs. and when people tell me how good I look I only see the rolls on my tummy. There is still much to learn but we can do this together. You are beautiful, accomplished, healthy and strong. You're doing ok!!! Every day henceforth will bring new power.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congrats on your 70 lbs., Hannah! That's awesome! I do find myself doing the same thing, when someone compliments me- I'll say thank you, but inwardly I'm thinking 'if they only knew'. But we do have to stop that!!Thanks girl!!

      Delete
  11. I appreciate how honest you are about your struggles! We all feel down sometimes, and no, it's isn't easy!! We're all here to cheer you on! :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's your blog, your thoughts and your feelings. Never apologize for how you feel.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I agree with Christa! It's your blog and your own thoughts.
    I think you look sexier day by day!
    I'm in awe of you. I started running(read walks) but left. I feel so proud that you are doing so well.
    z

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, sweet Z. I'm proud of you! You've lost some weight and I know you're getting back into walking again! That's awesome!

      Delete
  14. Ahhhhh I struggle with this too!! I am way too hard on myself and its hard not to compare. You are awesome and an inspiration:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Teresa. I know you struggle with it too. We have to change our way of thinking! YOU inspire me!

      Delete
  15. I maintained a 35 lb weight loss for YEARS and then gained 22 lbs back over the 2 years that I was a full time college student. I know how it feels to have lost it and then go and gain it back - you get mad at yourself. The fact that you posted your picture and your thoughts means that you're aware of your gain and you're more likely to get going on re-losing the 10 lbs.
    Losing and maintaining a loss isn't easy, it's really hard; if a blogger made it look easy, their blog wouldn't be believable.
    Keep at it, you will re-lose those pounds!! (especially now that you've "put it out here" for all of us to read!!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Lorenda! I will def lose it again!!

      Delete
  16. Don't apologize! The journey of weight loss and fitness is lifelong, and it's only by sharing both our successes AND struggles that we help each other along the way!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love you!! It is a tough journey, and the bad days are tough- I'm grateful that you are 100% honest with us and admit when you are struggling.......there is no victory in fakeness!!
    Keep on keeping on! I'm stuck in this rut right now, but we'll get out!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! And I know we WILL get out of it! Love you bunches!

      Delete
  18. I just love you Katie! Sending virtual hugs your way. You don't owe anyone an apology in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I just started reading your blog recently but everything you write comes across as genuine. I can relate to your struggles and your triumphs. Please continue to keep it real and you will continue to inspire more people than you know. I have lost 85 lbs and need to lose about 20 more. My first marathon is my priority now but sometimes I wish I could have it all and lose the rest of this weight too! God bless you for sharing all of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reading this brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, Kelly. Congrats on your 85 lbs., I have no doubt that you'll lose the rest of it too. Have fun training for your marathon! It's an incredible experience!

      Delete
  20. Amen! There is nothing wrong with just being you - struggles and all

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh you have no need to apologize! I know you say you want to just share your victories and successes. Those things are great, but the best part about us and sometimes the most inspiring things are when we are honest and let people realize we are human:) I have felt like that, and I know others have. Sometimes its just great to know you are not alone! I am cheering for you as well as many others, blogging is a great community and I think you should feel free to say and post whatever you like!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree, I like to read about others struggles as well, not only their victories. Because I can't relate to that! Thank you so much, Kristy!

      Delete
  22. How can hearing your struggles on top of your successes be something to apologize for? I read that last post, and girl, EVERYONE has body issues! And that "chunky" pic you posted.. um.. you look quite happy and healthy to me there!

    I didn't read all of the comments, but do agree with those I saw about not eating enough. You are putting in so many miles and burning so much, I'm sure your body is freaking out and holding onto every last piece of fat possible!

    To put it in perspective, I workout 4-5x a week doing one hour of Crossfit, plus run for about 40 minutes once a week. I consume at a minimum 2400 calories a day (5'7", 133lbs). And my weight is just at a nice plateau. I could not imagine being able to run or workout on any less calories. I'd be a fatigued, cranky mess!

    While I know your goals are different than mine, I absolutely am on board with eating MORE. There is a FB group that I heard about on a lifting forum I'm part of; they recommend "Eat More 2 Weigh Less" https://www.facebook.com/EM2WL?fref=ts

    I'm following an Eat to Perform (eattoperform.com) logic now.. and never felt better! They have a calorie calculator on there to show how an active person should be eating.
    You have to eat for your goals.. and if you are sedentary, you probably just need 1300 calories or whatever, but I bet you need even more! :)

    Keep working hard, but keep in mind that your body needs to be fueled for optimal performance.

    Give it a few months.. don't freak out if you gain weight in the beginning. The body needs to adapt.

    Stay positive, chickie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you so much, Jennifer!! I totally agree that I need to eat more, I know you're right about my body holding onto the fat. Thanks for the FB link and the website link. That calculator is exactly what I've been looking for! I really need to know exactly how many calories I should be eating. Thanks again girlie!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments! I reply to each one via email. Please make sure you are not a 'no reply' blogger!