Thursday, June 27, 2013

Finding a Nutritionist...

Happy Thursday!

  Yesterday I took my daycare kiddos and my boys to a Wildlife Educational Center. (Game farm, mini zoo)
Here's a few pics from our trip!


We saw this MASSIVE turtle, he weighed 200 lbs! 
It might be crazy, but I feel so bad for all of these animals being caged and locked up. I know it's good for kids to see animals that otherwise they would never see, but I still hate it! This turtle doesn't have any room to walk around, he just leans against the glass. (I cropped the pic, so his cage is bigger than what you can see here.) The only movement you could see were his eyeballs and his tongue!

This is a wildcat. See that dirt area in front of the gate? He paces back and forth- nonstop, all day.
 Then we saw a bald eagle, with his wings clipped. All he could do was sit on the branch and look at us.
This just makes me sad for them! I know, I know I'm strange. ;)

  With everything that has been going on with me lately, I have decided to find a Nutritionist. I received wonderful advice from everyone, and you all agreed that I eat way too few calories. I've only been eating 8-900 calories a day, plus running and other exercise. Honestly, I was surprised to see that I was eating that little. It was not done on purpose! 
 Kim sent me a link to this YouTube video, and it really opened my eyes!! I realize now that my body has adjusted to the low caloric intake and the high calorie burn- and it has just stopped burning fat, my body is holding onto it, thinking that it's starving. Years of yo yo dieting and not eating enough has really messed me up. I hate that I've done that to myself. 
 But, every day is a new day and I'm going to start treating my body right and loving myself again. I'm a (huge) work in progress, but I am determined to get there and hopefully be able to help others who are or who have been in this boat!

 On my facebook page I asked for recommendations on a Nutritionist. I am just at a loss as to what to eat! I really feel like I need a menu, a plan. I received so much advice on great Nutritionists, and was told about a couple books that I will be getting this weekend; "Intuitive Eating" and "It starts with food".

  I will get this body going again, and will start treating it right. I'll be healthy mentally and physically, just the way God created me to be!

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katie

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Apology

I just want to apologize to anyone whom I may have offended by my last blog post. 
The truth is, I do still struggle with my body image. Compared to how I talked about myself this time last year, I'm a completely different person. I have come a LONG way in accepting myself. Apparently I shouldn't call myself 'fat', that's why I used the word 'chunky'. I no longer consider myself fat, but I do still consider myself overweight. 

 I understand that I'm an inspiration to a lot of people and people look up to me. I DO NOT take that lightly. So, if I let anyone down, I'm sorry.

 This blog is to share my victories AND my struggles. I'm not going to pretend losing weight is easy, I'm not going to pretend every day is just la dee dah, and skipping through the daisies. I'm not going to pretend I have it all together. Losing weight and keeping it off is the hardest thing I've ever done and has been my biggest struggle for the past 20 years. What kind of message would I be sending if I pretend it's easy? That would really discourage the person who is having a hard time themselves! No, I choose to be real.

 I am working on loving myself. I realize I don't always do a good job of that. But I see that, and I am making a conscious decision to change. I DO know how important that is. I can't love others, unless I love myself.

I may no longer be inspiring because you have seen my struggles, but just know that I will never give up. I will never stop running, I will never stop learning, I will never quit. I won't throw in the towel when it gets too hard. When I see no changes on the scale, when I look at pictures that show no progress, when I miss the goal I've worked so hard for by 28 seconds- I won't quit. I will keep going. I will make it. 
 And somewhere along this journey, I will learn what it truly means to love myself too.

I love you guys!!


katie

Monday, June 24, 2013

Am I a Non Responder?

Happy Monday, my friends!

  I hope y'all had a fabo weekend! Mine was super busy, but super fun!
On Saturday we spent the day at my FIL's, he had a special day for all the grandkids with an inflatable water slide and bounce house. They all had a blast, all of us parents pretty much melted in the heat! 

Sunday was my youngest sister's 20th birthday. J and I went out to eat with her and her boyfriend. This beautiful girl shouldn't be here today. A year ago she had a terrible car accident, and she should've died. It was horrible and really shook all of us up. It still brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. But for the grace of God!!

It's amazing how looking at pictures of yourself can change EVERYTHING. 
Here's the truth. Last year I lost 30 lbs. I have not lost anything since January. In fact, I've gained back 10 lbs.!! I've been feeling horrible about that, but of course I'm still following my marathon training plan (currently around 25 miles a week), and I do strength training about 3 times a week, so I keep thinking this weight HAS to come off! Well, we took pics yesterday and I am now TOTALLY depressed. I can't believe I'm posting this, because now you all will see how chunky I really am. But here goes...

Look at my midsection!! Look at my fat arms! And I lift weights!! What the heck??
I am so discouraged. I've never been a calorie counter, but last week I decided to start counting my calories, using the Lose It app. For me to lose 2 lbs a week, it says I need to eat 1300 calories a day. I realized I eat around 800-900 a day! I know that's too little, but I still don't understand how someone can eat that few of calories, get lots of exercise and still be fat! 
 So, I hooked up with my good friend Google to try to find some answers.
I started reading about non responders. Some people can be genetically programmed to be a low responder to exercise. Some people are high responders and quickly lose weight and gain muscle mass, and others show no outward changes, although they are still getting healthier. I feel like I am healthy, I truly believe I could go out right now and run another marathon. But I am so tired of looking this way.
 Something has to change!! If you have any advice, or if you have ever been in this boat, please share!
katie

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Becoming a Kindrunner Abassador

Have you heard of Kindrunner
Through reading some blogs, I heard about them and was intrigued! I went to their website and absolutely loved what I read. Loved it so much, I contacted them about becoming an ambassador.
  Here's a little about them:
When you purchase shoes through them, they will send you a return label which you can use to send in an old pair of your own running shoes. Once they receive them, their shoe donation partners, Souls4Soles and the More Foundation Group, ensures that the people in the greatest need receives them! They will also credit your account with a $10 Kindness Cash Reward that you can use on your next purchase!
 I also love that the guys who started this, are themselves passionate runners and have worked in this industry for many years. 
 Every product they carry comes with a product review below it, that describes the product and gives approved alternates. I really appreciate that, because I feel so clueless at times, wondering how can I choose between so many shoes?
Watch this video clip to find out more!
I love that I can send in my old shoes and know that they will be going to someone who will be able to get more use out of them, and that I've made their life better because of my donation!

 I hope you'll take a minute to go to their website and learn more about them!
You can also follow them on Twitter and like them on Facebook!
katie

Monday, June 17, 2013

Chicago Marathon Training and Fathers Day

Happy Monday! 

  I hope all the Daddy's out there had a great Father's Day! In honor of my honey, I'm posting this pic from our wedding, almost 7 years ago. He is the best daddy in the world!

My family also took my Dad out to eat to celebrate him! This is all of us kiddos, except for 1 sister, who lives in WI.
(If you can't tell, I'm in the blue pants)
 In running news...
 I just completed week 2 of Chicago Marathon Training. Last weeks miles were 16.
10 of those were on Saturday.

I haven't had a long run in almost 2 months!! Way too long! It felt sooo good. Of course it was pretty hot, but for about half of it, I ran a path in in the woods, so I had lots of shade and a nice breeze. I thought I would be sore afterwards, since it's been awhile since I've ran long, but I wasn't at all. 
 Ahhh, I love training for a marathon! (Is that crazy?)

How did you celebrate Fathers Day?


katie

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Will the Cravings Ever End?? And Spirit of the Marathon II

Hello!

  Last night I went to see Spirit of the Marathon II. As soon as I heard that it was going to be showing one night only, I knew I was going! 
 I had only virtually met Julie, and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to meet in person and get to know her better! Knowing she's a runner and would probably enjoy the movie too, I invited her along!
We had a wonderful time! The movie was soooo good. It was very inspirational and made me so proud to be a runner and a part of this amazing community! 

  For some crazy reason, this is the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning.
Isn't that terrible?! And then I thought of this. My favorite ice cream in the world.

I wish I could say that I never crave this junk, I only want healthy foods like kale and quinoa. But, that would be a lie and I want to be totally real here! 
 I wish I could wake up someday and NOT crave ice cream. But I have a feeling this addiction will never go away, it will always be a struggle.
Then I remembered my 'goal' picture. This is how I want to look.
 No matter how much I run, I can't look like this if I eat those doughnuts and ice cream.
So, I'm going to stay strong. Try to make myself believe that junk is not worth it! 

 QOTD
What do you crave?
Did you see SOTM II?

katie

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I'm Not a Failure

Good Morning!

  Well, if you follow me on FB, Twitter or IG, you already know... I didn't get my sub 30 5k that I've been training so hard for. Since I've started running, I have never been more disappointed or mad at myself.
 This was a small race, maybe 100 people. Jeremy and I get there at 7:30 to pick up my packet. I'm as excited as can be, I have NO doubt in my head that I will run this race in under 30 minutes. I've been doing speed work and trying so hard. My average times on my own, have been around 30-31 minutes, (with one even being 27) so I just know being in a race, running with other people, that will push me and I can easily do it. I am 100% confident.
Ready to run!

Here we go!

I felt really good the whole race, I probably walked 3-4 times for a few seconds. (Which I regret) I don't normally need to walk, but I thought I was sprinting, and felt like I HAD to walk. There were a few small hills, but I have been training on small hills, so it was nothing new. 
 I wore my Garmin, but didn't look at it one time. Maybe I should've and that would've pushed me. But I thought it would mess with my head, and I just wanted to give it my all and be surprised at the end.
 I get close to the finish line and look at the clock and I see 30. I'm not sure what kind of picture the photographer got of me, I know I had raised my fists and was so angry!
 I cross the line at 30:28. SO CLOSE!!!

After crossing that line, the old Katie came back. FAILURE! You told everyone you were going to do it, and you FAILED. You're a joke! Why are you still running? Now everyone will laugh at you! You fail at everything! Of course I started to remember past 'failings'. My first marriage, unable to have children, my struggle with weight, and the list goes on...

I'm not going to lie, I wallowed in all of that for awhile. I listened to it, I started believing it, I felt defeated. 
 Funny how I can run a marathon, but yet a little 5k will make me doubt myself as a runner. 

Then they started giving out awards. And then I heard my name. They called my name! I have never even thought about winning an award, because that's impossible! (Oh, I have so much to learn!)
 I got runner up for my age group. 
I felt like this was God's way of saying "I'll show you you're not a failure!" 
Honestly, I felt that way for awhile though. I thought about how embarrassing it will be to come back here and tell everyone I didn't make it! But I'm sure there's a lesson I'm supposed to learn in all of this. (Maybe not to be so vocal about my goals? Haha) When I figure it out, I'll let you know...
 When I posted about this on FB and IG, the support was unbelievable. I am so blessed to have all of you. You have no idea how much your words lifted me. 

  Here's some things I did learn. I'm only a failure if I throw in the towel and give up. I will never ever do that. I'm only a failure if I stay down, if I listen to my old self saying I should just stop running. We have to keep going, keep running towards our dreams. That's the only thing that keeps us motivated and moving forward! 
 I may have experienced failure, but that's not who I am. It's okay to be disappointed in yourself, but let that just push you further and try harder. Which is exactly what I'm going to do. 
 And when I do get that sub 30 5k, it will be that much sweeter!


katie

Friday, June 7, 2013

5 Things Friday!

Happy Happy Friday!

 I hope y'all have had a fabulous week with lots of running and ice cream! Oh wait...that would be my week. ;)
Here's a few other things that have filled my week!

1. I signed up for the Women's Half Marathon, in September, in Nashville! This was my first half last year, and I absolutely loved it! When I got an email saying they were offering $20 off registration for National Running Day, there was no way I could not sign up! I'm SO excited to run this again!
2. I had heard a lot about this book, and finally got it. I've been devouring it. Yes, I'm going to sign up for an Ultra, soon and very soon! Thanks a lot, Scott! (Although I knew it would happen)
3. I am ending week 1 of Chicago Marathon training! It's been great. I just can't tell you how much I love training again! This week was a 4 mile run Mon, Wed and Fri. And then 8 miles tomorrow (Saturday).
This was my run for National Running Day.
4. Tonight I'm going on a hot date with this chick.
Hmmm...should I go blonde again?
We're going to the River City Winery, wine tasting, live music...perfect way to relax and unwind.

5. And last, but not least... tomorrow is the 5k race I've been talking about FOREVER, letting you know that I will finally get a sub 30. I will, I will, I will. 
 I have been working SO hard for this, and I really believe I can do it. I know some people don't put their goals out there, just in case it doesn't happen, but I have to. 

Tell me something good! Anything at all!
katie

Monday, June 3, 2013

Beginning Chicago Marathon Training and Surrey Bikes

Hello friends! I hope you all had a fabulous weekend! 

  I am SO excited because today was Day #1 of my Chicago Marathon Training! For my first marathon I used the Runkeeper marathon training plan, and loved it so much, that I'm using it again. I do make one change to the plan. They only have you run up to 16 miles at the most, that is just crazy to me, I think you need a couple 20 miler's in there! So towards the end I do an 18 and two 20's.
 Today was a 4 mile run. 
Yesterday we got together with Jeremy's family, to celebrate his sister's birthday. Here is all of us!
We all met at a coffee shop, played some games and hung out for awhile.
Then the birthday girl wanted to go downtown to the waterfront and ride Surrey Bikes! 
We rented 3 of them and started out for an adventure!
Peepaw looks a little scared!




Charley LOVED it!


We passed a man walking his huge turtle!
Not sure what I'm doing...


I don't know what he found on my phone,
but apparently I thought it was funny!


 We had a great time! I am so thankful for such a wonderful, fun crazay family!! 

QOTD: Have you been on a Surrey Bike?
What's something fun you did this weekend?
katie