Thursday, November 20, 2014

Runner's guilt, Runner's funk

Is runner's guilt a real thing? That's what I was wondering today, and I believe it is.

I think I have runner's guilt, because I'm in a running funk. I don't know what's wrong with me. Well, I do, but I guess they'd just be excuses.

My running lately has been horrible. I mean, embarrassingly horrible. As in, the past 6 months have been my slowest months. I did have an injury and had to take 6 weeks off. But I just haven't gotten back into it.

This time last year I was running over 80 miles every month. Well into the 90's. Of course I was training for a 100 mile race, but dang!! Lately my months have been in the 20's. The 20's!!

I still love running. I am passionate about it. Every time I finish a run, I am always so glad I did it. I love being a runner and I'm so proud that I am.

I've alluded a little bit to what's been going on in my personal life, and for over a year now it's been hard. Very hard. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a pit and my fingers are numb from trying to claw my way out.
To add to that, I can't find a job, I've gained weight, and it's freakin cold outside! 

So, those are my excuses. They should make me WANT to get out and run, right?

Why do I feel guilty? Because I've let people down. Some people became my friend back when I was training for 100 miles, back when I ran 20 miles around a track, or 20 miles on my treadmill, back when I was an inspiration. That's the Katie they knew and liked.
 Now when I'm discouraged and having a hard time, they're gone.

BUT, there is hope. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, in regards to this running funk anyway. Why, you ask? I have 2 marathons next Spring, in March and April, and training starts Monday!

So I am determined to come out of this. No matter how I'm feeling. I will do this.

How do you get out of a funk?

katie

31 comments:

  1. um what? if people are gone because you are going through a tough time, they suck. that's all.
    a funk is just a funk and i'm sure you'll come out of it soon enough! i am definitely in a funk right now as well, i got to the point where i didn't like running anymore. so this week i'm finally back into it, but making such little baby steps - 2-3 miles. thats it. i could run more but i don't want to right now. i want to WANT to go for a run, I want to enjoy and love it.

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  2. I haven't even ran in... well... I'm not even sure at this point :( I'm in a funk, too. But a weight-loss funk. I just don't want to count calories or do anything.... ugh. How lazy am I?!

    I have a marathon in the spring, too, and my training starts soon. I am going to start running as soon as I can find the time! WHich seems to be what my deal is... I don't have any time for working out! And the times when I could, I'm too tired to! I'm hoping to be able to start Adeline on food soon so that she won't need me as much for nursing. It's just difficult when I'm her only source of food!

    But chin up, darling! Some of us have been around for a long time following your blog and getting to know you, and we're still here! Through thick and thin! We can get through this together! I love you! <3

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    1. Girl, you are NOT lazy and I know that for sure! I'm sure it is hard to find time since Adeline is so small. But you'll get back there too! I love you, sweet friend! Btw, which marathon are you doing? We're still going to do one together someday!

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    2. In the Land of Oz, Garmin Marathon in Olathe, Kansas on April 18th next year! I am SO excited since I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Wizard of Oz! Full marathon medals will be Dorothy and Toto! http://ozrun.org/

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  3. I agree. If people are gone because you are in a funk, they weren't worth your time when you aren't.
    We all go through them and right now, I am with you sister! I don't want to run, I don't even want to think about running. This season has been my slowest ever and it made me feel like I was wasting my time even "pretending" to be a runner. So my plans now, walk on my treadmill, ride my bike on the trainer and at the start of the New Year, I plan to start running again. I miss it, but I think every now and again, we need a break from it to make us realize how very much we love the sport. Good luck!!

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    1. It's nice to know I'm not alone! I'm so glad you have a plan to get out of it too. I feel the same way, when I get back to it in a few days, I will love it again! Thanks girl!

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  4. Awe. I'm here too. I think I started reading when you were training for your 100 miler. But hey, I'm still here today. I was in a running funk all summer. After a severely disappointing marathon in May I lost ALL motivation. I had trained SO hard and it was miserable. I can honestly say that I'm not the "I love running .. rah rah rah: type. I don't think I really love it. I love chasing goals, I love challenging myself and running has been a healthy outlet for that part of me. But mostly I think I run out of habit. What's got me going with consistency again is the fact that I'm training for Phoenix Marathon in February. Like it or not I'll get my butt outside in these cold temps to get my long runs done simply because that's what my plan dictates. Running funks suck. You'll get there. I'm sure when you actually start your training plan things will fall into place. Hang in there!

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  5. all I can say, if those people are gone because you're not running those miles, you don't need them anyways.
    You'll get out of your funk - we all go through them. Me included. I have been in one all of November... I think its just adjusting to the weather. You'll be back - better then ever - soon enough.
    Don't be so hard on yourself. It's just your body letting you know what it needs :)

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  6. The people that are gone were not your friends to begin with!! Everyone goes through hard times...it is what you do with it that matters. You are doing a great job of perservering...20 miles or 200 miles per month-YOU ARE A RUNNER and YOU ARE STRONG!!! :)

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  7. People who leave because you aren't running the same amount of miles, aren't worth getting worried or upset over. Personally I started following you around your training for the 100 miler, and honestly you 100% inspired me to do my first marathon. You are still inspiring me! You went through a crazy injury, but you did it and your still running. Heck I just took a week off once from running, and strongly considered not running again. Also sorry to hear your in a funk! I feel as though I am in one too, just because I am job hunting too. On top that I am taking two online graduate course, and I seriously haven't been able to focus on them because job hunting is stressing me out. Well if you ever need anything let me know, and also good luck with the job hunt! :)

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    1. I am so happy to hear that Katherine! Wow, you have a lot going on. I know job hunting sucks!! Thank you so much. Btw, I didn't know you had a blog! Yay!!

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  8. This is definitely a real thing! I've had some of the best running months of my life recently and I still feel like I'm in a funk. I can't win. I'm so with you on feeling like people will abandon you if you're not this rock star inspirational runner. I know we don't need people who would do that anyway, but I'm terrified of it anyway. Just being honest.

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  9. OH, so sorry that you are in a running funk - I think it happens to all runners at various points.
    I hate that some people were your friends when you were training for a 100 and aren't any longer - friends should be friends no matter what!!!
    Here's to some fun runs in the very near future!!!

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    1. I think a lot of us go through this! Thank you Kim!

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  10. If your so called "friend" leave you when you are down and out, then they really weren't your friends at all. We all go through running funks, trust me....it will get better. Next year is YOUR year!

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    1. Exactly right, Sue. Next year is going to be amazing. Both personally and with my running! ♥

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  11. I won't mention your "friends" because I think everyone else covered that. It's ok to take a break, breathe and reboot. Your body processes all stress the same way so whether it's life stress or stress on your body from a workout, your body can't tell the difference so that could very well be why you're feeling bad. Life stress wears on you just as much as racing so be nice to yourself, take a break, read a book. Running will still be there for you :)

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  12. I feel like a lot of times if I can just let go of how I'm supposed to run or stop trying so darn hard, it just starts to flow again and be fun, which is really what we want! I'm surprised your running friends said adios, I feel like the running community is usually so supportive

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    1. I think that's a great way to get out of a funk. I definitely want it to be fun again! 99.9% of the running community is very supportive, I don't know where I'd be without them! I think sometimes people can put you on a pedestal, I know I can do that to others too. And then when you seem to have 'fallen', you're not inspiring anymore, you're not who they thought you were, and they just kind of disappear. But like others have said, they aren't true friends. True friends are there all the time, no matter what!

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  13. It shouldn't matter if you are running 1 mile or 20, you are still doing it and incredible!
    Sometimes to get out of a funk I take a few days off, or like last week I took a week off:) Then I approach it differently.
    Sometimes I like to listen to a great book on audio as I run, seriously if its a good one and I am into it, I find I stay out running almost twice as long as planned, because I want to keep listening to the story.
    Other times I create a fun playlist, not the normal running tunes. But the songs I love to belt out and rock out to or dance my butt off:) Play those babies while out on a run on a loop and I can't help but have an extra spring in my step, LOL Yup, I am a dork, but you probably already knew that about me!
    FYI I am excited your starting marathon training!
    I too have re-grouped and I am in marathon training, but also going back a little to start training to do back to back marathons again. I am looking forward to a March, April and May marathon schedule:) Who knows, maybe we will see each other at a marathon someday:)

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  14. Signing up for a race seems like a great way to get out of a funk! I've been in a tiny funk myself after Rock n Roll Las Vegas, but I'm hoping to do the #RWRunStreak to help get me out of it. :) Good luck with training for your marathons!!

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  15. Katie,
    I saw you on Katie's Running a Ragnar blog and came over. I am sure your friends like you for who you are not how much you run. I think it helps to have a goal to run towards and a plan. I only started running in January in preparation for my first half marathon in June and then another in late November. It helped me to have a plan that laid out how many miles I wanted to run each run day. I tried changing up my course to help make it more interesting too. My first half I ran in 10:49 minutes and the one in November when it was 20 degrees to start I had a really good run for me and ran 9:36 miles. I have not decided if I am going to try a marathon or not. I really enjoyed that last half.
    I think the toughest thing for me at times to do is to just start. I will only commit to running maybe 5 miles but once I start I often will up that to 10 or so.
    I wish you well.

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