Let me back up a little bit first. Most of you know, but some of you don't; I want a baby more than I want my next breath. So Mothers Day is always hard for me.
I hadn't been planning on going to church Sunday because it's just a situation I don't want to put myself into. Hearing "Happy Mothers Day" a hundred times, although meant with the kindest of intentions, is still a stab to my heart.
But, I've been doing really good this year in dealing with it all, so I thought I'm strong enough now, and I need to be there for my stepsons.
Well...I lasted until my pastor had all the mom's and stepmom's stand up. That's when I lost it.
I wasn't quite as strong as I thought I was.
Needless to say, I rushed out of there after his prayer.
I decided to take a little drive to Bernheim Forest and walk some of the trails by myself. It was a gorgeous day, and not too many people out.
|Cute little snake I came across ;)|
When I got home that evening my boys had a card for me. Oh, and a gift card from Cold Stone Creamery. They know me well. (They are 15 and 17)
Being a stepmom is the hardest job in the world. Not only do I raise them as my own, but also dealing with another Mother is not fun, although things are much easier now that we have full custody.
But it is soooo rewarding.
I have no doubt that I will have my own baby someday, but for now these boys fill every empty space in my heart.