But I do, every single day. Sometimes I feel like being so obsessed (?) with my weight is holding me back from really living. How pathetic is that! I know it makes me self conscious, and I'm always wondering if people are thinking "that girl runs??"
An old lady told me once I didn't look like a runner. Then she tried digging herself out of that, and made it worse. It was quite funny.
A year and a half ago, I lost 30 lbs.
And then I gained 33.
And then I lost 9.
I know that old lady wouldn't have said that Katie doesn't look like a runner.
I just recently saw my race pics from the Carmel half, and they totally devastated me. I know seeing pictures of yourself is what shocks a lot of people into getting serious. I can see why.
I asked my husband if I really look like this...no reply.
Really? I can't believe it!
That will now be my 'before' picture.
Ok, so in looking for the positive, at least I have runner's legs. These legs have been through 4 marathons and 11 half marathons. That is something I'm proud of.
The problem I have now is I don't know how to do it. I've tried EVERY diet out there. I've tried eating healthy and exercising. I just feel like I'm at a loss.
Sometimes I think if I quit running, I might lose weight. But that is one thing I can't give up. I do plan on using My Fitness Pal again. Being so aware of everything I'm eating really helps me.
I feel like I'm running a marathon and have hit 'the wall'. I will not DNF though. I will keep going. I'm going to do this, dangit!
And just to throw this in here... I run because it makes me happy. It fulfills me. It gives me confidence I've never had before. I run to reach my goals!