As I shared on Monday, yesterday I went for an HSG test, which looks into the uterus and fallopian tubes to check for any blockages. Women who experience infertility have this done to see if their tubes are blocked.
I had mentally been preparing myself to hear the news that they were blocked. I knew that had to be the reason I tried to get pregnant for 2 years and it didn't happen. I was prepared to hear that, and felt like I was ready. I would be devastated, but I was ready for it.
For the past month, anytime I would think about this upcoming test, I would start to cry. Just the thought that I would never be able to have a child was almost more than I could bear. Even as I sat on the bench, waiting for the doctor to come in, I was emotional. It wasn't that I wasn't being positive, I was just bracing myself for the truth.
The test was very quick and painless, it lasted about 5 minutes. Then the Dr. said "your tubes are nice and open, there are no blockages".
I almost came up off that table, y'all!! That was not what I was expecting to hear! For the first time in a month I took a deep breath. I can't put into words how happy I was.
My Mom was in the waiting room. As soon as I saw her I said "they're open!!" Knowing everyone around heard my good news, but I didn't care.
Now, I don't know what I'm going to do with this news, honestly. If I was with someone who wanted a pregnancy, my next step would be having hormone bloodwork done, where the eggs and ovaries are checked since I'm 'so old'. :)
What gives me comfort is knowing my Mom was 46 when she had my brother, so there is hope for me!
Thank you all for your precious emails and messages. You don't know how much they helped me get through this.